How To Rebuild Confidence After A Setback

Four months ago, I walked out of the hospital after a severe colitis flare.  As someone who has spent my entire life around fitness, coached elite athletes, and built a career helping others perform at a high level, I thought I understood setbacks. Injury. Fatigue. Tough seasons. I had coached athletes through all of it.

What I was not prepared for was just how quickly my body could become deconditioned.

When fitness feels unfamiliar

The first month out of the hospital was humbling in ways I did not expect. Walking around the block became a challenge. I would have to stop multiple times just from fatigue. I remember thinking, how did this happen? How have I become so deconditioned this quickly?

Then came the real wake-up call. I tried to do a pull-up.

Not a heavy lift or a hard workout. A pull-up. Something that had always been second nature to me. I couldn’t do one. That moment hit me hard.

For someone whose identity has been tied to fitness, coaching, and performance for so long, it forced me to come to grips with something uncomfortable. I felt fragile.  Frustrated. Embarrassed. Fearful. I found myself wondering if I would ever feel like myself again.

Setbacks look different for everyone

And while my story comes from a colitis flare and hospitalization, I know this feeling is not unique to me. Maybe your setback looks different. An injury. A rough season at work.  Having kids and watching your routine disappear. Burnout. Surgery. Life simply getting in the way. Whatever the reason, most of us eventually face a moment where we no longer fully trust our body, our fitness, or even ourselves. That, in my opinion, is the hardest part. Not just rebuilding physically, but rebuilding confidence.

Stop comparing yourself to the past

One of the biggest mistakes I had to fight was constantly comparing myself to my old self. The version that trained hard. The version that felt strong. The version before the hospital.

Comparison can be motivating at times, but during recovery, it can become discouraging fast. Every workout starts to feel like proof of how far you have fallen instead of evidence that you are moving forward. I had to stop focusing on where I used to be and start paying attention to the small wins.

Rebuilding through small wins

Each week, I tried to walk a little farther. Each week, I tried to do one more banded pull-up until eventually, those banded pull-ups turned into real pull-ups again.

That shift changed everything.

Instead of obsessing over getting back to 100 per cent, I focused on rebuilding trust. Trust that my body could recover. Trust that progress was still happening, even when it felt slow. Trust that one bad day did not mean I was moving backwards.

If there is one thing I hope people take away from this, it is not to be too harsh on yourself during a setback. Recovery is rarely linear. Confidence does not magically come back overnight. You rebuild it through consistency, patience, and stacking small wins over and over again. You do not need a heroic comeback moment. You just need to keep moving forward.

Trusting the process again

Four months later, I feel good. Optimistic. Grateful. I still respect what happened, and I do not take my health for granted. But I trust my body a lot more today than I did four months ago.

And if you are in a phase where you feel like you have fallen farther than expected, know this. Your current reality is not your forever reality. Keep SHOWING UP. Keep stacking wins. Trust that your body and your confidence can come back, too.